This is K, KAY, KURT and CLOSURE c'est finis

The whole KURT thing. (k, kay, whatever)

Now the amount of people ask me about him can be a little frustrating. My yahoo addy has his name and so too do some of the profiles I use for some certain sites. These were joined upto when I started (supposedly) seeing KURT. (Kurt not actually being his name, apparently, but anything along the lines of tosspot, cunt, wanker, turd burgler etc can be used).

This guy was the first guy I was serious about in a long time since the break up of the relationship between myself and my son's father. He was my first sub boy and the first person who I really developed a Domme mode of existance for.

We had a very special spark from the instance I laid eyes on him. He was perfect in my eyes. Good looking, intelligent, and he was the first and only person I actually fell in love with in a crash of emotion. I've never done it before nor since.

I wrote about him in my early blogging years on here and the shit he put me through, I'd have advised any other girlfriend to string him up and castrate him if she were to have had it from him instead. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

This fucking about lasted from August 2004 until very very recently when I'd made up my mind that I just cannot live with the indefinance of even seeing him let alone being with him and doing the things we (or rather I'd) planned on doing with him.

Yes I loved him, still love him but it is time to move my mind onto other tnings, better people and more valuable use of my time and efforts.

I guess by actually writing like this I am now excorsising that demon in me that had that feintest piece of hope that he wasn't actually a fuckwit but someone I had a small amount of faith in to come true to his word. Like a beaten wife would say.. I saw good in him and I knew he could change.. I just wanted to try and help him. No he didn't beat me.

I only ever saw him about 6 times in the whole time we had been exchanging mails, phone calls, texts etc etc etc.

He was to me, something beautiful and yes I let my heart decide this one.. but before and since I haven't allowed it any say in trivial matters such as relationships. I am now sure in my own mind I am truely ready to accept defeat and move on. Cases like his (liers, arseholes, cheaters etc etc) really aren't worth my time nor my emotion any longer.

Everything I saved on my computer from him pictures, mails conversation history is now all gone. His msn contact has been deleted from my list and his number will be taken from my phone. He has lost something truely marvellous but then it is now someone elses gain.. or other people I should say.

Sad really but as I'm writing this I am shaking a little, bit like a grieving period which has hit me, it's a bit strange but I have hope and good fortune on my side, he has Karma to deal with, And if I have anything to do with it a huge pile of shitty Karma to boot. I'm not angry with him anymore. I'm not upset. I am just finalising things in print. Ready to move on. It has taken my time and has broken my heart but as the title of this post suggests it is now Good Bye to 'Kurt' and time for CLOSURE. Simple.

End.