Remind me

I need to update my stories, there have been a few goodies in the past few months I really need to upload here :-D

That's all for now :-D

Expecting something?

"Get your arse over here. You have a two hour timeslot to be with me, if not you can kiss goodbye to any D's with me". I didn't exactly shout it but from the gulp I heard the other end of the phone you knew something was up. You didn't even have time to respond before I hung up on you.



"Right you little fucker. Let the party begin!" I said to myself. I find it amusing to play with the mind as you well know so summoning you round, without giving you reason has you curious, frightened but inquisative all the same. Your want to please me totally has always been prominant in our relationship so far so I was sure that with my tone on the phone just then you'd be shitting yourself, wondering what it was you had done to get me angry enough to growl those words down the phone to you.

Little did you know what I had planned for you. This was going to be a night we would both remember for a very long time!



Just as you thought you had me worked out the boundaries seemed to be expanding. You knew I knew of your desires, none moreso than to please me. Your submission had shown itself before but I knew this would bring it out far more than your wildest dreams.

You don't particularly deal with the iconology of dressage but tonight will be different. I have chosen to wear one of my more seductive dresses ready for when you show up, one that will allow easy use of my strap on with you. A dress which is also wipe clean.



I hate to admit it but I have butterflies in my tummy knowing what you're coming into and you just a dribbling wreck at my feet when you arrive. This is such a turn on knowing I have you under a spell of sorts, your body mine to do with as I wish and as I need, selfishly so, rightly so.



Putting the finishing touches to my ensamble I realise I've not made another phone call, one which would be an important part of this evenings' adventure with you.

I dial the number and simple say." Delivery for nine O'clock please."

That's all that is needed on that front so now I can relax, knowing you will be walking through my door, into the unknown within a half hour.



A surprise knock makes me jump, red wine in hand that I'd managed to pour when getting ready and spills slightly down my dress, thank fuck I'd thought about wearing that instead of my normal clothes or I'd be fuming!



"Can I come in?" Comes a shakey voice from the doorway.



You've managed to not only come early but you chose to come without even getting tidied up from your day.



"Get yourself undressed and take a shower, christ you think coming to me in THAT state is going to lighten your load this evening? I think not.. Go, shower, now!" Before I could finish you had already got your clothes around you on the floor and are headed up the stairs.

The time is nearing half eight, I hadn't realised the time had gone so quickly.

"Come on, what are you doing up there? Only girls take that long fannying about!" With this I walked up behind you. You were just drying yourself down but you couldn't look me in the eyes.



We hadn't spoken apart from me barking the orders since you got here and for some reason you couldn't find your voice.



"Look at me" I insisted. Your head still bowed and it seemed like an automated response to sink to your knees.



"Look at me" I said more softly raising your chin with my fingertips. "Tonight is going to be special for the both of us. If you had have been later you'd have missed out on all the fun!". I smiled as you then looked me in the eyes with a certain disbelief. Like my Jeckill (sp) and Hyde had been absorbed into the nice me again.



"B..b but I was so worried I'd done something wrong" came a reply at long last. "I thought you wanted to call me here for.. Well I don't know what for.. The phonecall scared me"

With that I bent down and kissed you ever so gently on your lips and I'm sure I spyed a little wetness in your eyes.

I resumed my position above you and smiled. "You like home delivery, don't you? " I must have had a glint in my eye because you seemed unsure quite how to answer.

"Um.. Yeah?!?"

"Well I want to play before we get ours, we only have a little time so get your arse into my bedroom and assume the position!"

I don't think I'd been this blunt with you before but everything seemed to be going exactly as I'd imagined it to.

I walked in after you and saw you 'praying' by the side of my bed " you know your God won't help you here, bitch!" I said and tried my hardest not to laugh, failing miserably.

You looked round at that moment and caught sight of what I was wearing under my dress.



Looking at my watch I notice it is ten to nine "oh fuck" I say internally and hope you didn't feel any of my body language give it away.

I grabbed a small piece of rope which was ready and waiting and tied your hands behind your back. Your semi very obvious. You knew what was coming but instead i got you to turn round and suck it instead. You do give very good head so I'm gonna make you take it properly this time, and with that thought rammed it into your mouth, knowing it'd hit the back of your throat.

"Hummm.. How beautiful" I said.

Managing to control as much of your gag reflex as you could you just looked up at me with those beautiful eyes and I could see your tears. I stroked your face as you carried on, unaware that our delivery had come and was being prepared downstairs.

"Baby" I whispered, "close your eyes." No sooner had I said it but you did and you mouth continued bobbing with my cock.



I came. Was a wonderful feeling running through me but did my best to stay stood up. I managed it, thankfully.

As I withdrew I told you to keep your eyes closed and that I needed a minute to compose myself as that had to have been one of the best blowjobs you'd given me! Your body, just kneeling in front of me made my tummy twitch. This to me is romance. Here is a boy willing to do ANYTHING for me and doing so damned well at it too!

My concentration broke when I realised that I had something to remember.

"Just going to put some music on, think tonight may get a little noisy!" I giggled. "Keep those eyes shut!"

As soon as my music was playing I started stroking your face coming round to one side of you I stroked your cheek with my hand as you feel something very familiar touch your lips and you go to take it in your mouth.

It takes a couple of second before you realise that it isn't my cock now in your mouth but someone elses. Your eyes open for a flicker and I catch you doing so.

"Suck it, you little whore" I say to you calmly. "Show this nice man how well you give those blowjobs. Be a good boy for me."

Unable to move your arms and almost in an impossible situation you accept defeat and carry on sucking. His rythmn is slow to start with and gets a little faster.

"Slow down a little and let him enjoy this." I said to our delivery guy. " He needs to know just how to do it properly, but you also know that you mustn't come yet!" I continue to stroke your face for a little while and usher him to sit on the bed so I can bend you over. I lube my cock up ready and thrust into your aching arse and realise our guy needs to explode. "Nonono not yet, mister". I motion for him to take his cock out of your mouth and I carry on fucking you for a little while.

He comes round to my side and playfully touches

My neck. Knowing that you could hear my slight groan you look round just as he starts to kiss me.

Fucking you is awesome but being pleasure while i'm doing it is another thing entirely, and isn't quite what I'd set out.. But going with this flow is obviously good!! You can tell I'm near climax again as my thrusting gets a little more harsh. Our delivery guy had already unzipped my dress and is cupping my tits occasionally going down to suck on them too. This is too much for my body to handle without going into orgasm. You feel me thrust deep inside you and he catches me to hold me while I come through an almighty explosion, I rest on your back a little while and withdraw my cock from you.

"Don't move" I say through pants. "Don't move!'

I go to the bathroom and compose myself, knowing he is getting himself ready.

I come back in and sit in front of you. "Come on baby, now give me head!!" You eagerly oblige and start working your tongue over me and inside me. Your tongue feels so good against me that I loose track of what is meant to be happening, but only for a moment.

I motion him to lube himself up and you feel him come closer to you, from behind. Youlook up at me with a multitude of emotions but you don't utter a word. He slips right inside you and you bite on my cunt, making me jump and giggle at the same time. You both groan but I make sure you get your mouth back to what it should be doing.

I can feel every shake your body is having and can feel your eagerness by how your nibbling away at me. I look up and see his face and give him the prearranged nod to fuck you harder and to come as soon as he now can.

"Come on then my boys, make me proud!" Within a few seconds I am coming again, and can see that he is too. Using you completely.

Your body spent. His exhausted. Mine fulfilled. He goes downstairs and I lift your face to look at me.

"Baby, you're wonderful." Realising I can get away with it I also tell you how I feel. A magical moment. As you hold me closer than you've done before.

You look into my eyes. "Thank you"

Our hug becomes then more passionate than I though you had energy left and before I know it you've unzipped the rest of my dress and are making love to me. Slowly, deeply and holding me so close throughout.

Yerning

As you walk through my doorway I reach for the bindings to enfold you. You stay still while your blindfold is placed on you and your arms forcefully tied behind your back.

I stand in front of you and slap your face. You gasp. "You didn't expect that did you?" I giggle. You're at my mercy. Pah mercy?? fuck all those niceities. You're mine.. don't go thinking you can cry out for your words will not be heard.

I collect the blade in my hand and with a swift motion your t'shirt is cut from your torso.. a seating nervous torso. I release the belt that holds your trousers and they soon come down too exposing your rather large buldge. "You're rather excited at not knowing what is about to happen, aren't you?" He hears me come closer to him and motion his legs apart with my knee... and with one forceful bolt it lands in his groin.. with him unsure whether he should stand and bear it or if he should go with what his body is screaming to tell him and to fall to the floor. He stands firm. Red faced-breathing fast.

Another knee to the groin ensures he is on the floor without a moment to realise what has happened. "Stop making those noises, bitch!" I say as he lays there, quivering, I roll him onto his tummy and hoist his feet upto his thighs and quickly bind them. Grinning at how pathetic he looks. I wrap some more rope from his thigh bindings to his tied arms.

His body is shaking, from nerves? From pain? What the hell.. It looks fantastic. He is trying to wriggle free... a quick foot movement from me onto his neck soon stops him from moving too much. "Stupid shit, stop fucking wriggling!" He knows I could crush his throat at any moment. He does as he is told immediately.

A still, sweaty body is beneath me. A pool of spittle falls from my lips into his face.. I can see his lips open and his tongue try and catch the fall. "Who told you you could taste that?" His mouth closes again and he gulps. I get down to my knees and slap his face again. "Don't you EVER do anything without my say so.. who DO you think you are?? No don't answer I don't want to hear your voice. This is MY time, not yours."

I lift his body so he is now on his side. I get my blade again and run it's cold length firstly from his chest over his nipples, he quivers, and then back up towards his throat. "SO you Dare order my time then do you?" I spit in his face. "My time is precious. Now I am going to use my time wisely with you... "

I always tell them to be careful of what they wish for...

I leave him laying there. I walk out to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine. It has been opened for a few hours. I had been waiting for the little shit for a few days, bloody cancelling on me and then ordering that I should give him the time to 'make it up to me'. How many times have I heard him give me that bullshit before. But today... he pays..

Happy New Year

New year. New start for a lot of people I know are having such shit times of it already and the year hasn't even started properly yet. People with relationships mainly. So whats in the water? God only knows but I hope to get new filters by end of this month.

Well today is the last

Of 2008.

What to look forward to in 2009 I don't know. A few months ago I was sure as to what I wanted out of it, but today I am not so sure.

I will be seeing in the celebrations with the one guy in my life which means the world to me. Just hope he stays awake for me this year so we can bring in 2009 together. B is my world. He will be back to school on the 6th and so the last leg of infant school begins. He is growing so very fast right now and soon he will be off to junior school... then to secondary.... then... well who knows. I just hope he has the best life a little boy can have. He has parents who love him more than life itself and an extended family who feel the same. He is, quite honestly the reason I am enjoying life right now and the reason I am carrying on.

We're nearing the end of another decade now and with the recession hitting hard, job losses at an all time high, house prices just... well houses just not being able to be sold the future right now looks bleak. I am just hopeful that by the time B is old enough things will have settled down again. He deserves that much, to be secure in his life. He has bought me so much happiness I only hope he can pass that onto his children.

Life in general doesn't seen to have moved on really all that much. I officially became out of work in March last year after taking a five year maternity and career break to raise B. Nothing seems to be available to me right now. I have applied for only three jobs, each of which have returned a one or two sentance letter saying sorry but no thanks. All of which helped my ego no end ... I am alright really it just means i have to really sell myself to companies, something I am not actually all that brilliant at doing.

Dad hasn't been admitted into Hospital since Nov last year.... all good... he is managing well with his oxygen and nebs at home. Thankfully. He still gives me a scare when he does't answer his phones for a few days... although it is like being a teenager I guess with him.. :)

This year has been a wonderful year for meeting so many new people. Some of whom I have had good bonds with and have supported me through what has been a very tough time. Each year recently has had it's testing times. But at least with age comes the wisdom as to how to go about dealing with these issues and hopefully realising the better way of resolving particular problems.

New Year, New beginnings with luck. Starting with spending the evening with the one person who will and always mean everything to me.

So I am raising a glass to everyone I know, have known and have yet to meet in 2009 I wish you all a VERY JOYOUS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!.

Surprise, surprise!

As I buttoned up my slightly see through white shirt I hear J's car pull into the drive.

Fuck, he is 20 minutes early.. he shouldn't have been here yet. I still have a few things to prepare.

He hadn't realised but we had been seeing each other for a year now, tonight was our anniversary. I had something very special planned for us to celebrate.

A long day at work, I thought should be rewarded with something a little out of the ordinary.

He hadn't known that whilst he was at work, slogging hard for the bills and my expensive taste in clothes I was hard at work entertaining people in my own way. Today had been no different. I had F round, someone who I hadn't seen for some time but he had just come off of holiday and his body was nicely tanned. He had been using the time away to soak up the sun, swim and tone his gorgeous body up.

We had both been ringing and texting each other through the fortnight vacation of his, readying him for our day today. I couldn't wait to see him. He gave me such pleasure and I can never get enough of him when he is here.

F had turned up at mine today just after eight, an hour after my lover had gone to work. He turned up with the chocolates and the expensive wine I asked him to get for me from his holiday, that was a speciality for the region. SO I could only have these things every six months while he was out there.

Within moments of his arrival I had F upstairs where we were ravishing each others bodies and lost in the moment, which seemed lasted more than a moment. But I had missed him completely.

The sound of the car in the drive was enough to bring me back to earth with a slight bump.

I look out the window and hurry F to get dressed and downstairs while I go greet my lover outside to allow F some time to compose himself.

"Have you been busy today?" I'm asked- I am sure I am still flushed from having to rush downstairs. Certainly obvious I have been upto something he hasn't been involved in.

"Yeah, but I have a surprise for you too" I smile as I lead him into the living room where F is sat.

"Why is HE here?" J asked. Not knowing anything but starting to realise that a jigsaw piece had finally slotted into the final gap of a puzzle.

"I thought I would surprise you," Say I, grabbing the back of a dining chair and shoving him onto it, securing his arms and hands to the back of the chair with the stockings I had been wearing previous to F ripping them off of me a few hours earlier. "You know it has been coming for some time.. I just think tonight will be the night"

He gulped. He realised what I had been telling him about for the past few months was finally coming into a reality. Far more lifelike than what I had been threatening him and with someone he had already met.

I tied his feet and legs to the chair too so the only way he would be able to move was by shuffling the chair.

I lifted my skirt and the stained knickers I was wearing confirmed the thoughts he was thinking. They were full of mine and F's mixed juices. I pulled them off and stuff them in J's mouth, he tasted and smelled what both F and I had been upto during the day.

Through muffled gasps and his eyes glistening. Almost teary but also widening knowing that his worst fears, but also his darkest fantasies were about to become a reality.

I went over to F, he had been told about this evening quite some time ago, but he hadn't realised that it would be now that we would be acting this desire of mine out.

I walked over to F, making sure J could see the look in my eyes but never looking at him again from when I shoved the knickers into his mouth.

Slowly, I straddled F as he sat on the sofa. His eyes met mine and we kissed. It was even more exciting than I had dreamt about. Having J watching us, knowing he could do fuck all about it. Me with my extra lover kissing passionately. I could feel F's erection through his trousers and I could feel my wetness growing unbearable.

I took my hands down to release his buldging cock from out of it's trappings and released it. After the use it had I am surprised F was able to sustain yet another superior toy for my use. J just watched, it was as though a porn video had become 3D in our living room. With added benefit of exchanged pheramones, smells of sex and body heat just surrounding us all.

I glanced over and J's erection was extremely prominent but he didn't notice me look.

With F's body twitching I took his length into me and with what we had done today my body was already primed for a huge orgasm rush just from his cock going in me. It didn't take too long for us to be riding in time with each other. F ripped my buttoned shirt apart at the front, exposing my red chest and my very blood pumped breasts. F bent his head down to suckle on a nipple, nibbling it and making my body shudder I was in a mind blowing orgasm again. I coudl feel the whole of my body heat up and then I slumped as the orgasm took a hold. F held me, still pumping his cock in and out of me until I came round and as soon as I had he too came.

It was out of the ordinary. It seemed he would never stop squirting his warm juice into me. My body was out of control shuddering away. We kissed until our bodies had finally calmed down. Such tenderness and a great fuck. J could see just how much F pleased me. He could seee F's body against mine and everything we had just done together but it wasn't over.

I got up from F dripping both of our mess and took out the knickers from J's mouth. usshered F to come over and I put F's dick into J's mouth, after all it needed cleaning, didn't it?

"I want to see that cock completely clean, do you hear me?" My voice was still husky post orgasm and it seemed to kick start F again into what turned out to be a wonderful erection, yet again. J must have been doing too good a job of cleaning him up... But what a beautiful sight it was to see my J sucking suck a glorious huge cock with F getting so much post coital pleasure from it too..

"I think you have forgotten something." I suddenly felt a huge amount of cum run down my leg. I got F to help me lay J down backwards enabling me to sit on J's face and get him to clean all the mess inside me up too.

I helped F get back his erection. J had done a good job of getting it hard so I just had to help him sustain it, didn't I? ;-)

As my horniness was at bursting point, seeing F's cock as hard as it could be, and knowing all three of us were turned on, I left J on the floor and allowed him to watch me fuck F again in front of him, doggy style, so he could see right where F was putting his huge dick into me. My cunt was dripping, soaking wet. They had both got me very very wet and my juices started spraying out over both F and shooting over J's face too.

There was no way on earth I could tell how long this went on for but it seemed to last a long time. I do remember coming round with my body tingling and F still fucking me from behind, it is a good job I was secure on my knees and elbows. Our bodies collapsed as F shot his load, once again into my already full body. I pointed to J and F, shakily, untied him. J got up from his half laying half sitting position and hungrily lapped all the juices from us. I don't think I would have ever produced as much ejaculate as I did that evening and neither did poor F. We were both completely spent.

After J had finished cleaning us up he took himself off into the kitchen and made us all a nice hot sugary cuppa.

See.. I can train boys to do a good job :-D

Feelings, emotions and heart strings

For some time now it has become evident that I feel.. well nothing. In limbo I guess. don't have the magnatism I need for my partner and i don't have yernings as such for anything. Feels like everything is in a rut.

End of last week I had planned to start playing with someone, got myself slightly back on track with how it used tobe for me three years ago, when I used to like to entertain clients. The excitemend of dealing with someone fresh who I'd leave a permanent impression on. Unfortunately he had to let me down due to work commitments so as a last minute alteration I phoned another old play partner. I knew he would be back in the country by Friday evening so thought.. why not.. :-) D was up in scotland, but it isn't the partner type play I think I have been missing. But then as luck would have it, that bloody airport thingy end of last week something about one of the towers causing disruption meant I cancelling our session... so it kinda knocked me for six.

Having hopes built up and actually enjoying that thought of dealing with new people or people who you've played with on occasion in the past there is something a little more chemical about it I think. So all the excitement I had started to feel faded even quicker than it had come about.

I am a bit of a grumpy sod at the moment. I really don't know why. It could be that I am in need of stretching my wings again.. going away for a couple of days, on me tod. But I now have a partner who is feeling like life isn't fair on him right now. For a while now I haven't felt compelled to play with him and I don't know why. I am very happy that he gets to play with others when we go out. In fact I suggest this to him. At least then he gets what he needs. To a point anyhow.

To some I can be very tactile. To others very much less so. I haven't felt like I have wanted a cuddle from anyone for a while now either. Been very indifferent when it comes to intimacy. With anyone. I had hoped with the new play partners it could have bought about my feelings from inside being released. Obviously to no avail.

I try and laugh... yes I did type 'try' because I haven't laughed for a good couple of months properly, I don't know if it is to do with the whole hormone shift, or wether it is because I maybe haven't actually gotten out of the depression I found myself in after what I did six months ago. Most people see a front, you have to, it's called masking problems. That way people don't worry and you can carry on as normal day to day without anyone pestering you about your welfare.

D has been patient with me. I haven't told him I love him in a month or so, not that I don't I just don't feel like saying it. Usually when I say it I feel a warm glow inside me, this glow has vanished and I don't know how to heat it back up again.

It could also just be down to not having enough seratonin due to the lack of chocolate. I don't remember how many days there are, really before I eat the stuff again, but if it has these kinda sad feeling side effects from going cold turkey, no wonder people are addicted to the stuff. I can well believe it to be extremely medicinal. Either that or I am just now waiting for the 25th Dec to come around so I can make myself ill on some :-D

I don't know how to make things better. D, I think assumes I can make all of his problems go away as well.. but how can I when I don't know what is going on within me yet? It is as though when he talks he is hoping I can tell him all of the answers he wants to hear. But I cannot. Because I don't know how to answer most of them.

I'm not upset. I don't 'feel' down. I don't feel overtly happy, nor do I feel excited about, well hardly anything. SO feelings. They are there I'm sure. Emotions? Pretty much escaped me for the time being. heart strings... wel I know they get played when B does his cute thing :-)