The cards say it in a few words..

Was a very interesting reading actually. My friend J came over and we settled down and he did a reading, well a few, for me. Surprised me completely as the people who I figured would be in it.. well.. were only mentioned. The reading did surprise me somewhat.

Two and a half people in my 'love life' as one I class as a good friend.. started seeing someone recently. But something I noticed about this person a little while made me take a look at how I did feel about him.. now it is clear I actually felt more for him than I first realised. Turns out if I want him I could possibly get him. But I am not going to interfere.. the girl being the 'half' of a person.. I don't actually know and have never met.. For my own mind, it would feel right to interviene so will allow their relationship to blossom.. I think they could both do with some happiness really.

And the other person.. now this one has been a thorn in my side but also a huge part of who I am. This is whom I thought the readings would suggest would be more prominent in my thoughts.. But only showed up really at the end. Basically it showed I cannot move on without ending this 'relationship' once and for all.. something I had come to the conclusion about a long time ago... but for some reason cannot bring myself to do.

It showed me as being very independant, moreso not letting my guard down and allowing someone in and this is what has been a big problem in me not being able to actually be with someone for too long, something I know about.

I don't go looking for someone, I tend to allow them to be drawn to me. I used to be quite bad when it came to boyfriends that I showered them in gifts.. took them on holidays and stuff. I could make a perfect husband lol But now I think why should it always be me being the romantic, why should it be me who pays for near on everything and does all the surprises? Because men cannot read minds is why.. And I have to take it upon myself now to decide what it is I do want from a guy. Then at least I will know what to expect. And then tell him what is expected of him.

I do miss being in a partnership, a regular one. I do miss being able to come down after a hard day with my son and being able to cuddle someone. But that is me being a soppy bugger.

Anyhow I am duely informed that tonight is the night in the pagen rituals that if I wanted to make a substantial change in how I want things to pan out for this year, tonight is the night to do it and make it happen.

So changes are underfoot.. wish me luck and goodwill.