Never rains but it pours...

Ok so today I finally get the courage to ask for help. Phone the local health visitor to find she "isn't available" until thursday. And me thinking ok.. maybe this could be the start of me and B getting back on track with our lives as son and mother.

I pick him up from school this afternoon and actually had a hug from him. and he has been quite good at school (basically the teachers didn't come and have a word with me about him at all) and the girl he picks on was chuffed to actually tell her mum that B didn't hit her today.. so all is good there.

My dad had asked him to be a good boy as I think he actually realised that I am starting to become a little desperate with not knowing how to curtail the situation. So that maybe helped.

So all in all we had a really plesant evening and I was really looking forward to going to my munch.............


T came to pick B up so that I could go let my hair down.. and what does B go and do??? But slip from a stool and hit his head on my kitchen floor. I have a concrete floor!!

So here we go off to the docs with a huge lump out the back of his head and him crying like a helpless babe in my arms. I feel so sorry for him as he snuggles right into my chest.. just as he does when he doens't know what to do with himself and is ill or in need of mum's affection. All of my thoughts of the past week go out the window. All I know is I love this little thing more than life itself.

He sits in my arms as we wait for the doc to come out to see him. He starts to cry in agony.. a strange kinda cry as any parent knows.. And then he starts to flush hot and cold in just as much time as it took me to write that. In and out of sleep... he was just not himself. We got called through and the doctor did all the routine tests, retina response, neurological response, blood pressure etc etc.. All seem ok but she advises that a more specialist approach and possible x-ray are needed.. so a trip to the local hospital is in order...

Well fuck me.. could my days get any worse.. this poor little thing asking for me and holding so close to me has caused me so much anguish so much heartache, and now is just my baby again... just a defenseless little thing with a shock to his system which has clearly knocked him for six.

So anyway he gets proded and poked by two other members of the NHS before we head off into Cambridge to Addenbrookes.

An hour or two later we get seen properly by the docs, luckily if they'd have been really worried we would have ben rushed in but as he was conversant and also signs of everything were alright, they deemed it alright just to wait a while and see really.

At a qtr to ten this evening they check him and prod him some further and decide he is alright to return home as he had managed to keep food down and he seemed to perk up a little better. TAHNK FUCK!! He had me worried for a while. And the lights there always give me major migranes.. :-s

They have signs in the waiting rooms "The local health visitor will be advised of any admiottance of anychild under the age of five" Great lol I ring the health visitor to come help me with my unruley child... and the next thingthey get to hear is that he has been admitted with head injuries...... nothing like a battered child scenario... ahh bugger it.. Stress?? whats that I hear you sigh.........

Lol now the wait is on to see if I now get the sympathetic ear of the Health visitor or the beady eye of the social worker. SHIT.. good job T was here when B had his injury and after my devistating week and my near depressive state... Things could have gone VERY wrong for me.....

Saying 'Mother and child doing very well' couldn't be more truthful right now... wait and see what tomorrow brings.