Update on the B situ

Well as I had prev posted, I have been hvaing a rough time with it with my Angel, he has turned from being wonderful again into something the devil himself would be proud of.

I had been getting down, but this morning I felt a bit of relief as B seemed to be heading toward a nicer way of being, cuddles, and really being good.. well better than he has been recently. So when I dropped him off at school I was quite plesantly relieved and found myself able to natter to one of my parenty friends over a coffee this afternoon.

Then came time to pick him him. You get a little bit nervous when the teacher comes towards you as it is, but when she also turned to another friend of mine and said "There's been an incident, or rather a couple which involved B hitting C......" My heart sank.

I was gutted.

I do like to think I have plenty of friends and I am sure they don't feel as bad as how I did at that point. C's mum and I both aggreed it best not to allow the children to even play together anymore. It's not fair on another child when one thinks it is ok to beat the living crap out of the other.

After they went I asked the teacher if there had been anything other than these incidents that I should be aware of. And there it was.. again more things.. he spilt his drink over the table and started to drink it by licking it up... he also wouldn't listen to the teachers when they told him off about it.

This point I was just on autopilot again. Not actualy sure if the teacher had said much else or not.. and still cannot think if she had.

There was I actually trying so hard not to be teary in front of her. I was ashamed. She did suggest however that I ask for the help of the local woman who deals with children with attention problems.

Here's me with the most perfect thing in the world that happens to now have, it seems, attention problems. What could I have done to actually deserve this?

I Took B home and as a rule I ask him to undress out of uniform and into play clothes (saves washing and it also gets him into routine) This caused a major tantrum. One which I ended up locking us both in the bathroom to cry our hearts out him with whatever frustration he had and me out of pure dismay.

He has never seen me cry and he started to worry when he saw the tears on my face. But all he wanted was a cuddle, I just didn't feel like anything. I hugged him and he'd given himself a headache. But I didn't give up, he did undress and change. But is it really worth all the hassle?

I am not as low as I was over the weekend but I do think a trip to the docs will be necessary. I cannot keep being as stressed as I have been. Maybe it is me that is just not coping well with motherhood. I do feel isolated. I do feel alone. Now that there are less avenues to go to. ie taking bruce out in public without causing a scene.. seems like I am destined to be a hermit while being a mum and the only chance of escape from it is when T takes him for his day.

I said it is hard to admit when there is a problem of any kind. And it is. But you know what? I am at the end of the road with what to do with him. I need that help. So I guess form now on I am going to have to see where this new road takes me. Lets just hope it is onwards and upwards not downwards as I don't think I can sink much lower. Not again.