Some more funny's
What is the definition of a wicker box?
It's what Elma Fudd would like to do to his favorite movie star
What does a necrophiliac have in common with a grave digger?
Yhe both dig dead people's holes
Who is the world's greatest athlete?
A man who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest
How can you tell if a woman is real hot for you?
When you put your hand down her pants, it feels like you're feeding a horse
What is another name for a Lesbian?
A vegetarian (no comments who know me) lol
What do you call a Welsh farmer with a couple of sheep under his arms?
A pimp
What's the difference between Gary Glitter and acne?
Acne doesn't come over your face till you're thirteen
Did you hear about the man who got caught masturbating on a plane?
He was arrested for skyjacking......
Which of Dickens Characters loved to grab women's tits?
David Cop-a-feel
What's green, has four legs and smells like a womans butt?
The pool table in the White house
Did you hear about the man who became a butcher because he wanted to hear young girls asking for a bit of toungue????
What is the smallest thing in the world
A kipper's fanny
What does a woman with a tight pussy and great body have for breakfast?
This morning I had........
Did you hear about the Irish flasher?
He stepped forward from the police line-up and said "that's the girl"
How do shepherds find sheep in the snow?
Very refreshing
Did you hear about the 150lb man who had 75lb testicles?
He was half nuts
What do you call a police officer with a shaven haven?
Cuntstubble
Why are women's vaginas so close to their arseholes?
So you can turn em over and pick em up like a six-pack
What is the definition of a perfect woman?
(there is an answer 'part from me tee hee) She'd have to be three feet tall with no teeth with flat head so you can rest your pint on her
How does a gay guy fake an orgasm?
He grunts loudly, pulls his cock out and spits on his boyfriends back
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When it's head is up a fairies skirt; then it's a goblin
What do you do if a horny pit-bull is shagging your leg?
Fake an orgasm quick
Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men were in bed one night,
Bill says "FLOBBADIBBBADOBBA"
Ben says "if you loved me you'd have swollowed that"
What is a dog's philosophy?
If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
How do you make a woman scream twice?
Fuck her up the arse and then wipe your dick on her curtains
I'll leave you with another favorite of mine..
An Englishman, American and Irishman all been in a loony bin for a few years and are due to be released today. They all await their final confirmation outside of the ward sisters office and all get called in one by one.
The Englishman goes in, before they wil sign his release papers they ask him to take a test, to see if he is mentally stable for the outside.
"I am going to shine a torch light when the room is darkened and I want you to climb the beam" Said the doctor.
The Englishman turned the lights out and the doctor shone the beam, the Englishman climbed up it as though he was shimmying up a pole, when his legs were as stretched as the could be and couldn't reach his arms any higher he turned to the docs and said
"I cannot do it, The beam goes too far up"
His papers were put on the pile ready for review in a year
The American in the test decided to try a clever way of carrying out this task. When he turned out the lights, he climbed onto the table and started jumping as if to catch a hold of the beam. Consiquently his papers too were put on the same pile.
The Irishman went in, got given the same task. Before they even asked him to turn out the light, he turned to them and said
"You think me to be some sort of feckin edyit?, I'll not be climbing the beam"
Amazed and stunned all the doctors pleased with his statement signed his release papers and sent him on his way
"Before you go" One of them said curiously
"Why did you refuse to do the test and say what you did?"
He replied confidently
"Because you feckers would have turned the fecking torch off while I was half way up da beam and I'd have fallen off!"
They had already signed the necessary documentation........
This may not be the last installment by all means lol
It's what Elma Fudd would like to do to his favorite movie star
What does a necrophiliac have in common with a grave digger?
Yhe both dig dead people's holes
Who is the world's greatest athlete?
A man who finishes first and third in a masturbation contest
How can you tell if a woman is real hot for you?
When you put your hand down her pants, it feels like you're feeding a horse
What is another name for a Lesbian?
A vegetarian (no comments who know me) lol
What do you call a Welsh farmer with a couple of sheep under his arms?
A pimp
What's the difference between Gary Glitter and acne?
Acne doesn't come over your face till you're thirteen
Did you hear about the man who got caught masturbating on a plane?
He was arrested for skyjacking......
Which of Dickens Characters loved to grab women's tits?
David Cop-a-feel
What's green, has four legs and smells like a womans butt?
The pool table in the White house
Did you hear about the man who became a butcher because he wanted to hear young girls asking for a bit of toungue????
What is the smallest thing in the world
A kipper's fanny
What does a woman with a tight pussy and great body have for breakfast?
This morning I had........
Did you hear about the Irish flasher?
He stepped forward from the police line-up and said "that's the girl"
How do shepherds find sheep in the snow?
Very refreshing
Did you hear about the 150lb man who had 75lb testicles?
He was half nuts
What do you call a police officer with a shaven haven?
Cuntstubble
Why are women's vaginas so close to their arseholes?
So you can turn em over and pick em up like a six-pack
What is the definition of a perfect woman?
(there is an answer 'part from me tee hee) She'd have to be three feet tall with no teeth with flat head so you can rest your pint on her
How does a gay guy fake an orgasm?
He grunts loudly, pulls his cock out and spits on his boyfriends back
When is a pixie not a pixie?
When it's head is up a fairies skirt; then it's a goblin
What do you do if a horny pit-bull is shagging your leg?
Fake an orgasm quick
Bill and Ben, the flowerpot men were in bed one night,
Bill says "FLOBBADIBBBADOBBA"
Ben says "if you loved me you'd have swollowed that"
What is a dog's philosophy?
If you can't eat it or fuck it, piss on it.
How do you make a woman scream twice?
Fuck her up the arse and then wipe your dick on her curtains
I'll leave you with another favorite of mine..
An Englishman, American and Irishman all been in a loony bin for a few years and are due to be released today. They all await their final confirmation outside of the ward sisters office and all get called in one by one.
The Englishman goes in, before they wil sign his release papers they ask him to take a test, to see if he is mentally stable for the outside.
"I am going to shine a torch light when the room is darkened and I want you to climb the beam" Said the doctor.
The Englishman turned the lights out and the doctor shone the beam, the Englishman climbed up it as though he was shimmying up a pole, when his legs were as stretched as the could be and couldn't reach his arms any higher he turned to the docs and said
"I cannot do it, The beam goes too far up"
His papers were put on the pile ready for review in a year
The American in the test decided to try a clever way of carrying out this task. When he turned out the lights, he climbed onto the table and started jumping as if to catch a hold of the beam. Consiquently his papers too were put on the same pile.
The Irishman went in, got given the same task. Before they even asked him to turn out the light, he turned to them and said
"You think me to be some sort of feckin edyit?, I'll not be climbing the beam"
Amazed and stunned all the doctors pleased with his statement signed his release papers and sent him on his way
"Before you go" One of them said curiously
"Why did you refuse to do the test and say what you did?"
He replied confidently
"Because you feckers would have turned the fecking torch off while I was half way up da beam and I'd have fallen off!"
They had already signed the necessary documentation........
This may not be the last installment by all means lol
posted by dawn's blog at
6:07 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home