On one of my more happier notes I thought I may just share these little gigglers your way, if they offend.. tough lol

What is the most clever thing to come out of a woman's mouth??
Einsteins dick

What is white and wriggles across a dance floor?
Come dancing

What animal has a cunt halfway up it's back?
A police horse

What do you call a lesbian with thick and long fingers??
Well hung

Why was barbie banned from the toybox?
She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face saying, "lie to me you bastard"

Why was the blond sacked from the sperm bank?
She was caught drinking on the job

What do you cal a fanny (vagina for those who are not familiar) on top of a fanny on top of a fanny?
A block of flaps

What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
SLOBBERDOWN MECOCKYERBITCH

What do you call a pakistani prostitute?
Minjita

How do you stop a dog from fucking your leg?
Pick him up and suck his cock

A woman went into a pub and asked for a double ententre
The barman gave her one............

Why don;t gypsies use condoms?
Because they've got crystal balls and can see when they're coming.

What do you call a blonde with a money on her head?
Anything you can eat for under a tenner


What does a gynaecologist have in common with a pizza delivery man?
They both get to smell the goods but they're not allowed to eat it.

What is the most irritating part of a blonde's vagina?
The blonde

Did you hear about the woman who fell asleep on the steps of a synagogue?
She woke up the following morning with a heavy Jew on her...

What did Donald duck say to the prostute?
Put it on my bill

Why does a dog lick his arse?
Because he knows in five minutes he'll be licking your face

What do you call a fat woman with a yeast infection?
A whopper with cheese

What does a homosexual do when lonely and horny?
He shits in his hands then jerks off

What do you get if you cross a yeast infection with an achy breaky heart?
An itchy twitchy crotch

Did you hear about the woman who sat on a joskeys lap and got a red hot tip????

How can you tell if two lesbians are twins?
They lick a like

What does a necrophiliac have in common with a fur trapper?
They both hunt for dead beaver

What's red and white and sits in a tree all night?
A sanitary Owl

How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them

What's the difference between spitting and swallowing?
About fourty pounds of pressure to the back of the head

What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
Fucks Funny

How do you know if you're boyfriend has a high sperm count?
You have to chew before you swallow

What to you call a welshman with a stick up his arse?
A taffy apple

Did you hear about the young man who was thrown out of cub scouts for eating Brownies???



You wil have to wait further installments, I don't want to be responsable for a incontinent rush lol