A lot of people have asked "Wel what happened between you and your sons' dad" here I try to tell it as it was

The story goes like this…

We had our son Named at a civil ceremony, a bit like a Christening. I am not religious by any means so thought it best to be civil than not at all lol The turning events in our relationship happened just two weeks after, on the Feb, 12th 2003.

They go like this…

“What you got in your wallet eh?” I asked surprising T as he lay on our bed still very sleepy from an afternoon nap. B, our son was only eight and a half months old so was still having day time naps even though I was getting him out of the habit, it still helped myself and T to get a little cat nap every now and then.

“Nothing much, “ Came the tired reply

I started turning out receipts, “couldn’t believe you kept these cinema passes he he” That is when I came across the letter. “What’s this??”

“Erm….. “ Hesitantly “I was writing some lyrics for her” Sheepish look in his eyes.. embarrassed smile hoping that I would not read any further.. but not stopping me from doing so..

“For who??……. “

While saying that I turned scraggly piece of paper over and read

“Yes I love you too, and all you have to do is say the word and I will leave her, I don’t think I want to be with her anymore and just say what you want me to do.. I didn’t want any of this and she is making me go through it all … etc etc etc “

I was more confused than upset, and obviously started the whole tear thing by this time as I then read HER name. It was my youngest sister, one for whom I have never liked and couldn’t stand being round. We had constant arguments and she had total disrespect for anyone especially me. . She was one of those girls that if I were in the same year at school would not even go near for friendship, as she was one of the biggest SLAPPERS that were around.

This was a girl at age 11 wanted a child, and had slept with anyone that wanted a freebie for fun, and didn’t care who it was either, so any guy who wanted their cherry popped was a more than welcome unsuspecting guinea pig in her experiment.

“What the fuck is going on?” I asked

“Nothing”

“This doesn’t look like nothing to me, what the fuck has happened, what is this letter all about?” I was getting ever so agitated by this point and T was getting more embarrassed.

Then silence… not a word..

“ Why the fuck did you not just throw this letter away huh?” I said slamming it down on the side by our bed “I would have been none the wiser, I told you at the beginning of the relationship that if you were going to stray that you tell me, but E???? My sister??? What the fuck were you thinking???”

I went downstairs to have the ‘Shit what just happened there’ moment to myself. . The thoughts were going round and round like crazy cats in an alleyway. Why did he not just throw the damned thing away??

I heard paper being torn up upstairs and then the toilet being flushed. I knew he had gotten rid of that evidence then, but it was far too late for that.. I had questions. But all I could manage was tears.. Why did he have to betray me like this? Why could he have not gone for someone pretty and someone he cared for?? I am not worried about his fidelity, just that he had her???? I didn’t understand and eventually he came downstairs, sat beside me and hugged me. I couldn’t accept this and shunned away from him.

“It was only a couple of kisses, it meant nothing, really I went through a bad time of it as you know and didn’t know where to turn.. She was just there for me” He was trying his hardest to look me in the face but I was having none of his lies.

“It doesn’t sound like it was just a kiss or two,” I was boiling by this point “Why couldn’t you have had that girl you been pining after all these years?? Why HER of all people?”

T just sat there unable to answer.
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The next week or so was hell for me. I had accepted his reasons for doing this for some absurd reason. But the trust had gone. I started looking at his phone for messages, and made a point of finding out where he was going, who with and how long, I started freaking out whenever he went anywhere and called anyone.. That aint a normal thing to do. I have never done it to anyone and thought really quite badly of myself for doing this.
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Then came around my Nephews 2nd birthday (a nephew by a different sister) and things seemed to be getting on the side of ok again, not normal but not as bad as the last week had been. I still looked at his texts and still kept enquiring on his whereabouts. This date was 24th Feb. Near on four weeks after the Naming Ceremony of our son.

We had a lovely day around my sisters’ house, filled with fun and cake of course.. T and I both seemed to be the perfect family. He held my other baby nephews and played with them as though everything was normal. I thought Fantastic it has finally turned good again, even though the trust was still a big issue.

We had never argued in our relationship, I have never found it necessary to do it in any relationship I have been in.

We went home and because of the hour I got B’s bath run and laid there with him while T got his bottles ready, bought them up ready for me to settle him down and then went back downstairs with some rustling, Nothing unusual.

RING RING>>> RING RING>>>>> RING RING>>>> RING RING.>>>>

“T WILL YOU GET THE PHONE PLEASE?” I shouted down… nothing.. he is in the garage I thought.. Oh well will just let it ring, it is probably only another bloody salesman anyhow.

RING RING>>>> RING RING>>>>> RING RING>>>>

“T DID YOU HEAR THE PHONE? CAN YOU SEE WHO IT IS B AND I ARE STILL IN THE BATH” nothing. Ok so maybe he has gone out and it is he who is phoning and needs to remind me of something.. Well whoever it is will have to wait as they should know it is B’s bathing time.

RING RING>>> RING RING>>> RING RING>>>

Sod this, I got out the bath quickly wrapping my towel around us both and ran to the phone. For someone to ring this quickly between calls and is so persistent there must be something going on.

“Hello??” I asked hurriedly. “What do you want, B and I are trying to have a bath.”

“Just check outside will you and tell me if you car is still on the driveway” It was my father on the phone.

“Was that all you wanted?? T is downstairs I should think in the garage or something.” I said annoyed that he had gotten me out of the bath to ask me about the car.

“Just check” Came a stern voice from dad, he sounded worried

“No it is not there, maybe T has gone out after all”. I said, “ Was that all?? Can I go get back in the bath?” I was starting to worry, panic even that T may have gone out and had an accident or something but surely not..

“D,” he said “T has just text me to tell me that it is all over between you two and he has left you”

Bewildered.. and finished a relationship by text?? Not texting me to tell me it was over but texting my father first to give me the news second hand!!!! That only happens in the agony aunt pages of the Sun newspaper or something..

With that I just sat down with B in my arms and sobbed.

“Did you want me to come over or anything?” Dad said really sounding upset..

I couldn’t take it in. We had had a lovely day and well there hadn’t been any suggestion as to him leaving. I was stunned. I didn’t actually see that one coming.. even with the previous weeks’ events.
***************
Thoughts were going round and round in my head; he left me in the bath… anything could have happened. If I had slipped when I got out while getting to the phone, who would have been there for me? What would have happened if anything went wrong while I thought I could rely on T and he wasn’t there…….

I had been with T for over five years, and he ended it with a second hand texting method.

I started ringing around his family, his friends, anyone and everyone.. just seeing if anyone knew what had gone on.. It turned out he had already arranged everything a few weeks beforehand, he knew he was leaving me and hadn’t had the decency to let me in on it. He had arranged with his stepbrother to live with him for a few days and he was not to let me know.

I started to look around my house, and noticed that he had over an amount of time, taken and stored stuff without my noticing. Well with a dependant baby you don’t tend to notice much except when there is a nappy to be change or sick to be cleaned up etc.

So, so far, he has kissed my youngest sister and now been keeping from me that he was leaving me. I started wondering what else he had been keeping from me. What else was I completely unaware of and stupid enough not to notice what was happening right under my nose?
******************
I didn’t hear from him for a few days and by then had almost cried out all the tears I could. I guess it could still be the hormones from having B.

When he did come back on the following Monday I think it was he just went straight upstairs, I followed him

“Ok so what the hell are you playing at, we have to talk and sort some stuff out” I was really not angry as much as frustrated that I was kept in the dark so long.

“It’s over,” He said, not actually surprising me in the least..

“Well I did kinda guess that when you walked out.” I said getting just annoyed that he was just stating the obvious and not actually even saying sorry on how he did things or I dunno.. It just made me fume slightly.
****************
We agreed, somewhat stupidly, that he should stay living with our son and myself until he found a place of his own to go.

He wanted independence, he wanted freedom, I had taken everything away from him and given him nothing back in return, WHAT TOSH.

He blamed me for him being depressed even though his mother had done a bloody good job of screwing his life up and mind up until then. He hadn’t worked for well over a year and a half and I kept us both, albeit in no fortune, but with bills being paid and food on the table.

He repays me by leaving me. And getting a job already sorted for when he goes from me? I find that this had actually been on the planning for at least two or three months, so a long, long time before we actually had the ceremony for our son.

WE ALSO MADE A CIVIL VOW TO EACH OTHER IN FRONT OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS SAYING HOW MUCH WE’D ALWAYS BE IN EACH OTHERS LIVES AND HOW MUCH WE WOULD ALWAYS BE STRONG FOR OUR FAMILY ETC ETC ETC, what utter bullshit eh?
****************
Suffice to say the next month or so that he stayed with us was bloody hard. I had to get the house changed over into my sole name, the back accounts changed, the bills changed blah di blah di blah. I was wanting to stay and be an at home mum I also had to sort all of the benefits out. It was a very, very long and laborious job indeed. I had a few breakdowns when I got the house changed over. As we both had to be there and I ended up saying about the reasons behind everything while T just sat there and did the occasional nod, and signed whatever he needed to be rid of me.

I couldn’t really deal with us still living under the same roof and wanted to start to get on with my life without him. T overheard this conversation that I had with a friend over the phone and he decided that he should move into his fathers house, even reluctant as he was to do this, I couldn’t have him living with us a moment longer, There was no arguing just uncomfortable airs. I had grown up with parents at each others throats and vowed I would never put my children through
*****************
This happened really March time 2003. We made arrangements that T was to see B every week at least one day and I thought things were starting getting sorted.

I started going out again and of course got lucky on plenty off occasions. Not sleeping around at that point but the occasional snog and groping session does ones ego the power of good.

I lost two dress sizes in four weeks from hard partying. On the nights where I went out T stayed over mine to baby-sit, Why shouldn’t he take extra responsibility. After all I wasn’t dried up and washed out. But I started wanting to have relations again. So I asked if he could start taking B to his dad’s overnight…

Yeah right. That caused possibly the first big argument we would have had. He hadn’t even asked his father to take B overnight and I found that out by actually ringing T’s dad and asking why he wasn’t supporting his son and not wanting B round his. As I said he hadn’t actually asked his dad in all the time he stayed there, His father wanted him to go round and had even asked T to take him over night so they could get to see more of him.

Needless to say I was on the phone to T and actually shouted at him for the first time. I think it must have been and ended up me saying something along the lines “I am going to hang up on you now I have said what I want to say and cannot talk to you anymore for the time being”

I think this was his kick in the arse he needed. This had been going on until December 2003 so bloody ages and within a couple of days of this phone call he had found himself his own lodgings.

T really must have thought me stupid when he came to take B for the day when I said to him

“Now you got your own house, you can take B overnight and let me have a night off. It’s about time you got yourself sorted.”

T didn’t know where to look; he HADN’T actually told me he had found a place of his own. I just got lucky I guess. Women’s intuition eh?

I had been a 24/7 mum from Feb. to Dec. and I was completely worn out, I didn’t have the family support that I needed and felt so very alone. The hardest times were when B was ill. That is when the loneliness hit it’s strongest, not having someone there to reassure me and actually put their arms round me and tell me it was going to be ok. I have always been a strong person, but I guess it hits you hard when you are on your own, or rather feel you are alone.

But from the Moment T started to take a bit more responsibility for B, I started to actually feel human again. I met a few guys and went out or just entertained at home and it was really nice. I didn’t want anything serious mainly because of coming out of a long-term relationship and just needed my needs fulfilled. It’s only the animal instincts that needed to be gotten under control again.
****************
Then I met someone. Someone that was caring and someone who I saw to be more of an occasional part of my life, rather than just having one night stands. Something a little better and more stable. Who didn’t mind me being a mum and needing time for my son and myself as well as spending time with him.

L was tall, not particularly handsome but had a good heart. The first night I had relations with him.. he blew me away.. Not because of his prowess but because of the size of his length!!! MY GOD OVER TEN INCHES OF MANHOOD AND THICK WITH IT. Who needs the black dildo when you got a white guy with a HUGE dong???

I was a hungry vixen who loved cock and of course, kept him for as long as I could, I had to teach him how to do things mind as he had explained that because of his size he hadn’t been able to experiment much as his previous girlfriends were to scared to do much with him. I was the one who helped him out. Then one evening by misfortune a rubber split.

I got myself down to the docs the following Monday and got myself checked out. The results came back positive for Chlamydia It isn’t such a bad one of the STD group fortunately. Still an STD all the same. I had had many tests while pregnant and knew I hadn’t gotten anything and I knew I hadn’t slept around. I had only the knowledge that L had slept around without precaution so told him and asked him to get himself tested and clean.

Would you believe it? L WAS COMPLETELY CLEAN, He then accused me of sleeping around and of course finished what we had without a blink.

Fucked again.. Not impressed….. There was only one other person that would have given it me. T had assured me that he hadn’t done anything apart from kiss E. No I thought, he couldn’t have been that stupid surely?? What the fuck?? I text him

“I do not want to know details but all I can say is this I have got an STD and I know I was clean while I was pregnant. You are the only one that could have given it to me. I suggest that you get your arse clean and if you are still in touch with the whore you shagged while with me then tell her to do the same”

My suspicions were then founded, he replied with

“Ok”
******************
That was the dagger I so needed, I had been going out with L for just over three months and had practically blamed him for infecting me. When all along T had been screwing around behind my back. I had my theories as to who it was.. and later found these to be true.

He had slept with………. You guessed it E. That fucking whore who had no intention of even being with him, who only wanted to split T and I up as she was so very jealous of what we had and the baby I had given birth to.

It transpires that while I had to go into hospital near on every weekend during my pregnancy due to high blood pressure or back problems or SPD (I will try and find a link for this one, although it’s a toughie to find) E had been getting her claws into my other half.

She had seduced him while I was in hospital in the seventh month of pregnancy, while we were having to live with my dad due to a falling out with his mother who owned the property we were renting at the time. Breathes. I found recently that he had confided in one of B’s godparents that he has slept with her three times. But now regrets it. PAH.

My dad I also found out knew about this and had made them put a stop to it. As I had had so many problems during my pregnancy and had already endured four threatened mis-carriages he thought it best not to tell me. This resulted in me being quite angry and let down by him for some time. I felt as though I could not trust anyone for so long.

We are now very much on speaking terms. He has always been a good dad to me and a very good friend. Best dad in the world.
********************
So to sum up, T left me holding the baby and the whore got clap and passed the praise to me.
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Things as they stand now. T and I are on best speaking terms and look after B between us, We are civil towards each other and we know the boundaries, or rather he knows he aint getting any anymore from me.

We both love our son very much and he to knows this, It is far healthier than being at each others throats and showing B that the world just has to be full of hatred, He gets to see us both and gets loved by both too.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ASK QUESTIONS OR EVEN JUST SIT THERE STUNNED. JERRY SPRINGER EVEN DISMISSED THIS ONE, AS IT WAS TOO ROUGH A SHOW LOL.