Time out

I haven't really done much the last few days. (blog wise-thought process wise)

This morning I woke up and the reality of not being able to talk to R kinda made me wonder if I am missing him even slightly and I am. We had only really been speaking for a couple of months but it was a continuous conversation. I'm not hurting over it I don't think but there is a small part of me which is dissapointed that things have come to a halt.

I don't blame him for anything but I do wonder why it is at times I do as I do. But I do know that if I had have known what had been going on I maybe wouldn't have worried so much about things. Communication, to me, is vital. However insignificant it is to someone else I find even the small details something I can at least know what is going on with the other.

I know that there were a few happenings. And maybe with me becoming more and more paranoid about something that happened I presumed it was to do with that than what it was that did happen. That makes no sense to anyone but me but I know I need to record my thoughts at times to try and evaluate what it is I need to do to improve myself or even have a slight chance at getting together with someone else. IF being the operative word.

I think I know still what it is I want. I just don't know how to visualise this person nor am I able to describe him.

I do know that I am ready for someone. This I hadn't admitted possibly for a while. But with R's interaction I do know that I know that this is what I'd like now.