Thursday, October 12, 2006

This is K, KAY, KURT and CLOSURE c'est finis

The whole KURT thing. (k, kay, whatever)

Now the amount of people ask me about him can be a little frustrating. My yahoo addy has his name and so too do some of the profiles I use for some certain sites. These were joined upto when I started (supposedly) seeing KURT. (Kurt not actually being his name, apparently, but anything along the lines of tosspot, cunt, wanker, turd burgler etc can be used).

This guy was the first guy I was serious about in a long time since the break up of the relationship between myself and my son's father. He was my first sub boy and the first person who I really developed a Domme mode of existance for.

We had a very special spark from the instance I laid eyes on him. He was perfect in my eyes. Good looking, intelligent, and he was the first and only person I actually fell in love with in a crash of emotion. I've never done it before nor since.

I wrote about him in my early blogging years on here and the shit he put me through, I'd have advised any other girlfriend to string him up and castrate him if she were to have had it from him instead. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

This fucking about lasted from August 2004 until very very recently when I'd made up my mind that I just cannot live with the indefinance of even seeing him let alone being with him and doing the things we (or rather I'd) planned on doing with him.

Yes I loved him, still love him but it is time to move my mind onto other tnings, better people and more valuable use of my time and efforts.

I guess by actually writing like this I am now excorsising that demon in me that had that feintest piece of hope that he wasn't actually a fuckwit but someone I had a small amount of faith in to come true to his word. Like a beaten wife would say.. I saw good in him and I knew he could change.. I just wanted to try and help him. No he didn't beat me.

I only ever saw him about 6 times in the whole time we had been exchanging mails, phone calls, texts etc etc etc.

He was to me, something beautiful and yes I let my heart decide this one.. but before and since I haven't allowed it any say in trivial matters such as relationships. I am now sure in my own mind I am truely ready to accept defeat and move on. Cases like his (liers, arseholes, cheaters etc etc) really aren't worth my time nor my emotion any longer.

Everything I saved on my computer from him pictures, mails conversation history is now all gone. His msn contact has been deleted from my list and his number will be taken from my phone. He has lost something truely marvellous but then it is now someone elses gain.. or other people I should say.

Sad really but as I'm writing this I am shaking a little, bit like a grieving period which has hit me, it's a bit strange but I have hope and good fortune on my side, he has Karma to deal with, And if I have anything to do with it a huge pile of shitty Karma to boot. I'm not angry with him anymore. I'm not upset. I am just finalising things in print. Ready to move on. It has taken my time and has broken my heart but as the title of this post suggests it is now Good Bye to 'Kurt' and time for CLOSURE. Simple.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

P's quick body worship.

We managed to book into a Hotel that evening as the apartment which we had both viewed (me online and P in person) wasn't available until the following day. So I walked in and straight away he knew that I had a look in my eyes, I was hungry, but not for food.

I stripped him down and made him kneel before me. His binds still in place from the arrivals loungue. I put a blindfold over his eyes and tied his hands behind his back. I then stripped myself, all but the high heeled shoes.

His mouth was available.. so I decided to take advatage of this. :o) I stood on his oncovered feet with the heels of my shoes while I straddled across his face and started to bury his tongue into me. I squirmed and rode him until he was choaking for air. The smell of sex was certainly in the air, but I wasn't about to fuck him yet, we had work to do, and I needed to have my fill first.

After making sure I'd cum enough so much so that I knew I was dizzy. I got back off from his face, made him then wank himself off. Well, I wasn't going to touch him in that way just yet lol P had only two minutes to cum in or he would have been ordered into chastity for a month, and he knew it. His hands went so quickly and with the build up of me sitting on him and the whole explosion of the day so far it wasn't long before he spilled his seed all over my body.

I took his blindfold off "See what fucking mess you've made you filthy little slut??"

"Yes, Mistress, I'm so sorry" He replied realising what was about to be asked of him.

"Clean it up. I don't want to be having your juice all over me!" A twinkle was still in my eye from my own climaxes so having his tongue clean me from head to toe, every last drop was just sending me into ecstacy again.

P started from my legs, where only a little was spilt below my torso, but at least he finally started to taste how he did. He did gag a little, but I just laughed and told him there was a lot more further up, he still had his hands tied tightly and struggled to stand but he did it very well considering his wobblyness.

P accidently licked some cum from my breasts which apparently to him was there but I know for a fact wasn't ;) But I was enjoying every moment, being worshipped from head to toe by the man I'd finally found to be my true boy.

After he had finished I untied him and made him go shower, I mean... smelling of all those phermones wasnt always the best way to go and meet and greet the family now was it?? ;)His balls were tied tightly after he got cleaned up and we got dressed again ready for this evening.

We both then took a cab to his parents house, They were dying to meet me, after these years, after all this correspondance, they wanted to meet the girl their son had finally chosen to see. We turn up at the house at around about eight and I was welcomed into their home with what seemed to be the biggest feast ever.. I turned to P and whispered, I have a huge appitite, must be the flight. I laughed, he went red. We sat down and enjoyed a wonderful evening with everyone.

Just perfect.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


I was lucky enough to host a party in Norwich last evening and the people were wonderful... lets just say I got to play with a woman... or should I just tell the truth and say I played with four of them :D

No sex, no snoggin just fantastic play :D

When I have more energy, (am shattered) I shall remember and might say a few words, But for now, I am going to lay back and just cross arms for a job VERY well done :D