Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Well I am sure I had someone ask if they could see more of me, I have had implants as you can tell lol

Me in my prime :o) Posted by Hello

How many Dommes does it take to change a light bulb?

Well none is the simple answer, they get their subs to do it for them lol

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

That old L word

I don't use the word lightly and I thought I would just share that with you. I don't use it often when I'm with someone and it feels sometimes weird to use it too often as it becomes a routine.

When I do say it however it is ment from the bottom of my heart, it just seems to me that sometimes people use it just as a way of getting into someone else's knickers or as a way to try and make the other think they can be trusted.

I don't know why, but for someone to love you you have to have earnt it, and to say it back they have to earnt it too.

Just thoughts.. that is all :o)

Saturday, October 23, 2004


If you all go to Baltazars site through mine.. and you'd like to put a face to the blogs... please sign up and make it a little easier for them to achieve a good meet! :o)

Here's my list

Well I thought I would get my own list of things I have done, Bit like a check list I guess, and even a confessional of sorts. Feel free to copy and use this list and say what you too have done :o)

~Been with more partners than you have digits to count on
~Been in one or move porn demos/movie
~Posted raunchy photo's of yourself on the internet
~Had stranger sex, more than once
~Had an affair (or more than one)
~Been besotted with someone that didn't know
~Been brave enough to ask someone to be with you even if it ment being knocked back
~Sung in front of an audience
~Have lots of friends to count on if ever needed
~Have or have had a list of sex buddies if the occasion ever arose
~Used someone purely for sex
~Been used yourself purely for sex
~Had more aquaintances of the opposite sex for a sexual need than a relationship
~Let a partner see you masterbate without letting them masturbate
~Had a partner use a vibe on you
~Used your webcam for more than chatting
~Have total confidence about how you are even for odd moments


I will also let you in on what I have got on my to do list, something which I have made with some girlfriends. If they happen or not isn't a worry but it would be nice to tick some more boxes off :o)

~Have a threesome two males one female
~Have a threesome two females one male
~Slept with a woman
~Possibly have had another baby
~Been proposed to get married (even be married)
~Actually skydived or gotten over my fears of height somehow
~Been to a fetish club in full attire
~Had some saucy picture put into a real low class wank mag
~Make sure that a love lasts
~Been to Cyprus again, and even America for the first time

There may be more to add, but I think that could be it for now.. any suggestions?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Well, aint the web a wonderful tool!!!

Anal play awareness

While searching for more toys on the web someone noticed this site and thought it may be benificial to me, so thank you LMS.

Monday, October 18, 2004

The morning after the day before....

Ok, so I have now woken up. Realising that yesterday wasn't just a dream. or nightmare by some people's standards but a truly wonderful and defining day for K and I. I think I must have been running on pure mind overhaul as today I have woken with a huge headache. Not great, but I am still smiling.

I know that I still have a long way to prove myself worthy of calling myself a domme. I intend on doing this slowly and the moment I decide is right to get that collar on him will be the moment I call myself just that.

I am hoping K has learnt his lesson. So far as the contact, it is just wait and see. But I think K understands now that he needs to open up to me more. It isn't right that one person bears soul and the other just sits back and waits, it isn't good for any relationship for the other to close up shop.

But hey, we have only been seeing each other a couple of months now and it was only yesterday that I think our relationship fully started. I love the guy so much for what he allowed me to do yesterday albeit harsh. I think we are starting to see each other in totally different ways. I think we both need the escape from everyday norm and to know something about your life is controllable by anyone's thoughts is worth keeping special.

On another note, I did tell K about my blog yesterday too so he at least can see if he wishes my thoughts. I think it is very important that we are both totally honest you know. I am feeling anxious as to whether or not he will get in here and read these postings but I do think it important he is given the chance at least.

K earned my forgiveness yesterday for the way he treated me so I thought it only right that he had this URL. It would be nice to think he had his own that I could read, his thoughts and wants and desires but that is totally upto him.

What can I say, I do love the guy.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

He took it, and I am a very proud woman.

Yesterday I mailed K to tell him that he was in for punishment for the lack of contact and for the self doubt he has been feeling for a while now. He said he would be round mine just after three this afternoon to accept it.

His punishment was something that we had discussed briefly before, something that he had feared would happen so I thought it only right that this should be the lesson that he needed to be given to learn from.

K turned up at my house not long after three this afternoon, He looked a state, no wonder really as he knew what lay ahead of him. I had promised some compassion when he arrived as I knew this would be something that would test us both when the act would be commited. I hadn't really slept well recently as it was so I guess running on adrenalin helped out as your emotions tend to tire easily.

We talked about what was going to happen and I had to make him very aware why he was to be put through this type of ordeal rather than one that he would have prefered. He needed to realise firstly that it was wrong to treat me so insignificantly, and secondly he needed to be taught that he was worth a lot more than he gave himself credit for.

All the time we were talking about his fate he didn't like to look me in the eye, and he shook, needless to say I also was shaking, but put on a brave stance. He just asked if I would be kind enough to get it over and done with as soon as I could. He needed to prove to me that it was worth my while doing it.

I told him to go upstairs where i hugged him, still not making eye contact. K looking nervous. I kissed him on his forehead and asked him why it was that I needed to punish him.

" I need to be able to prove to you that I am worthy of you, and I need to make myself aknowledge the fact that there is nothing i can do about my illness apart from live with it."

"Correct" I said as i then looked him in the eye "Are you ready?"

"Yes Mistress, I have a hardon" With that my knee flew into his balls as hard as I could manage.

"I will leave you a while now to gather your thoughts and by the time i get back I want you stripped and lying down for me, I want you to think about the next part of your punishment and why it is needed"

"Yes Mistress, Thank you."

I left him alone for a small time, maybe five minutes or so then went back into the bedroom. I asked him how he was feeling he replied "I am hurting" I asked him to kneel up so I could bind his hands behind his back, I tied a blindfold over his eyes and told him that I would now leave him to think about what was about to happen. I Needed also to gather my emotional state as this would be something that I knew would change us..

I went back to the room and asked him if there was anything else he wanted to say to me before I gave him his final punishment.

"All that I ask is that we get it over with as soon as we can"

I then proceeded to take my jeans off and put on the strap-on. This was going to be a first for the both of us.

I told him to bend over with head down and arse in the air. I lubed up the shaft and proceeded to enter him. When the shaft of the strap on got through his anxious muscles he made a crying groan. He knew this wasn't going to be a short pain. He continued to groan and I just had to switch my hearing and emotions off as I kept plunging into him.

When I could see he was broken I pulled out.

"I will leave you a while now, I think you have had enough don't you? Do you feel that this may have taught you to be a better person and that you need no more of this?"

"Yes Mistress, I think I have learnt that by submitting to you, you will make me a much better person" K said through choaked gulps. I could tell he was broken. I went out of the room just to catch my breath. I hadn't imagined how challenging it would be to have this much power over someone. It wasn't plesant, but then it wasn't meant to be. Not for either of us.

I went back into the room again untied his wrist cuffs and took his blind fold off. "I don't want to have to do this to you again ok? If it has to happen again it wil be a lot worse! I have only been able to do this to you because I love you."

"Yes mistress, I know and I love you too". I held him for what seemed to be an age. His tear stained cheeks pressed against my face. I had never experienced such vulnerability. He had given himself to me fully, no argument, no resistance. I was so proud of him and told him so.

After the tears had been shed and the whole emotion had died down. We started kissing. I allowed him to then pleasure me with his fingers, then his toungue then his penis (which by then was surprisingly hard).

K's whole attitude had changed. He seemed like a different person and by god I was so proud of him and so proud of myself too. He was so happy, and so excited that he seemed to have found his inner self.

Still now I am feeling very good about events, I thought it may have been too trying but when I realised I had done the job which I was ment to do. Got the results that were craved. I was happy and am still smiling.

I am having to go on a journey now

I haven't exactly been as honest as I'd like on here. I love K dearly but his recent efforts to see me or contact me have been few and far between. As most of you who are reading this are aware I am going on my own journey with BDSM and have been curious about the need for it and who much of an effect it will have on me and K.
From the very beginning of our relationship he has asked if we could experiment and I really had no ideas as to what extent this meant. I am scared yet am also excited at the thought of finally having control over some aspect of my life.

My mentor and great friend P has been a great source of strength for me on my own minds journey as this will be one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. Bugger even childbirth was easy compared to a punishment which I am to bestow upon K.

I had been at my emotional wits end and when someone doesn't contact you, for whatever reason, starts you wondering if they really were serious about you in the first place.

A few months ago K had found he had an illness, something which he is totally unable to do anything about and he has obviously been thinking the he be a failure of some sort. What crap. When your body tells you something like this it isn't a fault of yours, it isn't a sign from above that you have to endure a sentence of any kind it is just something that happens. Manageable but it happens. He isn't less of a man, he isn't less of a wonderful person, and isn't going to be loved any less because of it.

This is something that I am going to have to instill into him though. I think that this is what he is needing, some sort of reassurance, as do I, that he is wanted and loved, for what ever he has going on right now.

The punishment sounds harsh but we have both spoken abut this before. I am now just summoning up the courage to actually give it to him. I have to be able to shut the emotions off for the duration. That is gonna hurt me so badly. But if he wants me to have ownership over him it is the only way that I think he will be able to relinquish the guilt he has.

I am not sure as to whether I should say about the punishment just yet, I think I may save that for the post punishment blog. The one where it is that I have to cry and diminish my demons for having been so cruel to him.

Watch this space. (and wish me luck)

Ok, here goes.. :o)

So you all want to know what treasure I have hidden eh? well here is my list, which is expanding whenever I get extra cash to do so :o)

Range of vibrators
~Metal-like small about 4"
~A double penetrator (my personal favourite)
~First timer one.. straight, and to the point lol
~Cock and ball vibe (still to be tested)

Clit ticklers and butt plugs
~Vibrating butt plug
~Beaver friend with long pointed nose including anal beads
~Six or seven small interstingly shaped clit ticklers, some vibrating.
~Strap on
~Anal vibe with a toybox all in it's own right of accessories

Dress up kit
~Two different nurses outfits
~Doctors examination kit (inc latex gloves :o))
~One "scary spice" outfit, animal print tight fitting small dress
~Two wigs, both long hair, one blond, one black
~Hooker dress
~Various corsets, stockings and suspendar belts (bras of the same kit)

Bits and bobs
~Various lotions and potions for every conceivable need
~Home made cat of nine (flex with four)
~Collar and lead
~Role play dice
~Erotics game board (bit like cluedo where, when and what with lol)
~DIY enema kit

I know there are so many more things I need to add to my little collection.. any feedback is always welcome :o)

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Ok, so I couldn't wait

Ok so the jingle balls couldn't be put away in my box of tricks. I had to try them out. Yesterday, a few hours, maybe not even that long after I had gotten them I had to hurry upstairs to get my tube-a-lube and squirted some on them ready for insertion.. even though I was fully aching for them and was extremely sodden down below.

I know that I have quite a good pussy at the best of times, have been very conscious of making sure my pussy exercises has been kept up so the muscles and tightness kept in place before, during and post pregnancy. This is something a few fellas have actually commented on..

(I am able to perform a lady shower, and can also squirt which I find extremely fun!! But this bears no possible resemblance on what I have been trying to tell you all LOL)

But FUCK ME, all I can say is if any female wants a little bit of intimate discrete fun, by George these things hold a punch in the head spinning sensation!!

I held them in me for about two hours, making sure that I went to get as many cups of tea as I could, for every time I walked or jiggled myself they certainly made their presence quite well known!!! (I daren't goto bed with them in last night however as I thought it would be bad practice if my son woke me to find my bed saturated and if he were to have wet his bed he would have gotten told off for doing it LOL)

I certainly went to bed smiling again.. phew, will let you all know what I do have as an entirety in my box of tricks though.. as soon as the fifth member has requested so :o)

Thursday, October 14, 2004

I went shopping and i bought...

A pair of leather cuffs
A leather blindfold
Jingle balls (like chinese balls)
A cock and ball vibe
And a collar and lead...

Oh what fun will be had :o)

I have now been chatting to someone....

For while now I have been intrigued in the site of BDSM Forum, this man has an understanding of words that only comes around every so often and is a great laugh to talk to. We have discussed only very slightly about me maybe one day going out to his small dwellings in Texas to actually live out being a sub. This greatly excites me and if I feel daring enough and I find myself wanting a short break in the new year then I think I may take him up on his offer.

I have always wanted to go to America, it has always been a childhood dream I have really no idea what sparked this off but it is something I have longed to do so may just give myself a break away and combine my new found hobby and a trip to a place that I have been longing for.

I think about the scenes,
I think about the marks,
I'm not scared,
just curious.

I will be all I can,
Learn all I need,
then when the time is right
I will know what I need to become.

I am still very immature
And need to learn about the world
Maybe one day, just maybe
I'll have the means to find me.

I don't know, I am always questioning, and feel frustrated when there are no answers.. I think the more I learn the more I will satisfy my curiosities, but no, that just isn't so, the more I learn the more it is I seek and by the time my life on this weary planet is no more, I can go to my place with as much wonderful fulfillment that I can possibly acquire.

I am a computer with unlimited memory, unlimited need for input. I feel sometimes that I will not have enough time to even gather what I want let alone more stuff that I crave. I want to experience all that I can and when you think about things in the grander scale of life, we really don't get long to do these things..

Monday, October 11, 2004

This is a part of me which looks good so thought I would share it with you :o) Posted by Hello

Well I am still here, alive and well

Hello all, I have been a little quiet of late due to family issues, we all have them don't we? but sometimes when you're needed to use your emotions elsewhere in matters of the heart then some things get put on hold, hasten to add my lack of commitment to my blog. So apologies to all.

As I am new to the whole liberating side of BDSM and the whole Dom and sub thing I thought I would go about getting some ideas on what it is that turns K on.. now I haven't done this before and I really am up for just about anything, but I do wonder whether he know's what is properly involved in the whole scat thing. I watched some porn videos which are speciality ones of course and to be honest was a little worrying.. but I did keep it in mind that it would be me doing the fouling.. It hasn't put me off by a long shot, just has made me think about what it could be that makes people like it..

I do tend to analyse people and the why's, how's and so forth and still am very curious to find out maybe what it is that makes someone want to be defocated upon. Could it just be the humiliation side? Could it be the basics of the animal instincts that we as humans have nearly forgotten about through evolution? As in the very very early ages of man I would probably find that reasearch may show this to be a form of telling others to stay away as who ever had been shat on would be owned by one particular person?? Who know's, it may just be as children we were taught not to play with it as it is dirty, therefore letting us rebel in our adult years as we can now do what we want and when.

It would be good to get feedback if people are into this type of submissiveness to give me something to think about..

Sunday, October 10, 2004

This list is only a few of the things i have done.. see if you are so brave as to say what you have in common??

I stole this list from the following site who in turn stole it from another site.. I think it is fair to say you are welcome to steal it for your own blogs he he.
Lipstick Lesbienne

Everything in bold is what I have done.. I suppose I could always get my own list drawn up and see how many of you have done the same as me?

01. Bought everyone in the pub a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula.
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said 'I love you' and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Done a striptease
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris (I WISH!)
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Stayed up all night long, and watch the sun rise
15. Seen the Northern Lights
16. Gone to a huge sports game
17. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa
18. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
19. Touched an iceberg
20. Slept under the stars
21. Changed a baby's diaper (or 12,000)
22. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
23. Watched a meteor shower
24. Gotten drunk on champagne
25. Given more than you can afford to charity
26. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
27. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
28. Had a food fight
29. Bet on a winning horse (even if it was only $1)
30. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
31. Asked out a stranger
32. Had a snowball fight
33. Photocopied your bottom on the office photocopier
34. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
35. Held a lamb
36. Enacted a favorite fantasy
37. Taken a midnight skinny dip
38. Taken an ice cold bath
39. Had a meaningful conversation with a beggar.
40. Seen a total eclipse.
41. Ridden a roller coaster
42. Hit a home run
43. Fit three weeks miraculously into three days
44. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
45. Adopted an accent for an entire day
46. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
47. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
48. Had two hard drives for your computer
49. Visited all 50 states
50. Loved your job for all accounts
51. Taken care of someone who was shit faced
52. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
53. Had amazing friends
54. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
55. Watched wild whales
56. Stolen a sign
57. Backpacked in Europe
58. Taken a road-trip
59. Rock climbing
60. Lied to foreign government's official in that country to avoid notice
61. Midnight walk on the beach
62. Sky diving
63. Visited Ireland
64. Been heartbroken longer then you were actually in love
65. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger's table and had a meal with them
66. Visited Japan
67. Benchpressed your own weight
68. Milked a cow
69. Alphabetized your records
70. Pretended to be a superhero
71. Sung karaoke
72. Lounged around in bed all day
73. Posed nude in front of strangers
74. Scuba diving
75. Got it on to "Let's Get It On" by Marvin Gaye
76. Kissed in the rain
77. Played in the mud
78. Played in the rain
79. Gone to a drive-in theater
80. Done something you should regret, but don't regret it.
81. Visited the Great Wall of China
82. Discovered that someone who's not supposed to have known about your blog has discovered your blog
83. Dropped Windows in favor of something better
84. Started a business
85. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
86. Toured ancient sites
87. Taken a martial arts class
88. Swordfought for the honor of a woman
89. Played D&D for more than 6 hours straight
90. Gotten married
91. Been in a movie
92. Crashed a party
93. Loved someone you shouldn't have
94. Kissed someone so passionately it made them dizzy
95. Gotten divorced
96. Had sex at the office
97. Gone without food for 5 days
98. Made cookies from scratch
99. Won first prize in a costume contest
100. Ridden a gondola in Venice
101. Gotten a tattoo
102. Found that the texture of some materials can turn you on
103. Rafted the Snake River
104. Been on television news programs as an "expert"
105. Got flowers for no reason
106. Masturbated in a public place
107. Got so drunk you don't remember anything
108. Been addicted to some form of illegal drug
109. Performed on stage
110. Been to Las Vegas
111. Recorded music
112. Eaten shark
113. Had a one-night stand
114. Gone to Thailand
115. Seen Siouxsie live
116. Bought a house
117. Been in a combat zone
118. Buried one/both of your parents
119. Shaved or waxed your pubic hair off
120. Been on a cruise ship
121. Spoken more than one language fluently
122. Gotten into a fight while attempting to defend someone
123. Bounced a check
124. Performed in Rocky Horror
125. Read - and understood - your credit report
126. Raised children
127. Recently bought and played with a favorite childhood toy
128. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
129. Created and named your own constellation of stars
130. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
131. Found out something significant that your ancestors did
132. Called or written your Congress person
133. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over to be with the one you love
134. ...more than once? - More than thrice?
135. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
136. Sang loudly in the car, and didn't stop when you knew someone was looking
137. Had an abortion or your female partner did
138. Had plastic surgery
139. Survived an accident that you shouldn't have survived.
140. Wrote articles for a large publication
141. Lost over 100 pounds
142. Held someone while they were having a flashback
143. Piloted an airplane
144. Petted a stingray
145. Broken someone's heart
146. Helped an animal give birth
147. Been fired or laid off from a job
148. Won money on a T.V. game show
149. Broken a bone
150. Killed a human being
151. Gone on an African photo safari
152. Ridden a motorcycle
153. Driven any land vehicle at a speed of greater than 100mph
154. Had a body part of yours below the neck pierced
155. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
156. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
157. Ridden a horse
158. Had major surgery
159. Had sex on a moving train
160. Had a snake as a pet
161. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
162. Slept through an entire flight: takeoff, flight, and landing
163. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
164. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
165. Visited all 7 continents
166. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
167. Eaten kangaroo meat
168. Fallen in love at an ancient Mayan burial ground
169. Been a sperm or egg donor
170. Eaten sushi
171. Had your picture in the newspaper
172. Had 2 (or more) healthy romantic relationships for over a year in your lifetime
173. Changed someone's mind about something you care deeply about
174. Gotten someone fired for their actions
175. Gone back to school
176. Parasailed
177. Changed your name
178. Petted a cockroach
179. Eaten fried green tomatoes
180. Read The Iliad
181. Selected one "important" author who you missed in school, and read.
182. Dined in a restaurant and stolen silverware, plates, cups because your apartment needed them
183. ...and gotten 86'ed from the restaurant because you did it so many times, they figured out it was you
184. Taught yourself an art from scratch
185. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
186. Apologized to someone years after inflicting the hurt
187. Skipped all your school reunions
188. Communicated with someone without using the phone
189. Been elected to public office
190. Written your own computer language
191. Thought to yourself that you're living your dream
192. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
193. Built your own PC from parts
194. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn't know you
195. Had a booth at a street fair
196. Dyed your hair
197. Been a DJ
198. Found out someone was going to dump you via blog
199. Written your own role playing game
200. Been arrested
201. Watched someone masturbate in a public place

Saturday, October 09, 2004

Try this fantastic blog out!!

BDSM Forum Try this site out.. I have read The gentleman's novel, and we all have to wish him luck with the publishing..

Friday, October 08, 2004

So True

I had been in these situations where you can't do anything apart from wish you were somewhere else, with someone else who'd got something worth while in his pants before.. It aint no use trying to fill a gap with a toohprick now is is?? it aint gonna hold the shelving up!!! :)

Ok, so maybe you have all heard this song... or have you??? :):)

At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches Lord I almost died,
But I'd spent oh so many yrs just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, And I knew that I could take you on. . .

But there you are,
Another lie,
I was ready for a big mac and you've bought me a French fry,
I should have known that it was bullsh*t,
Just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans.

Go on now go,
Walk out the door,
Don't you promise me 10 inches then turn up with only 4,
Weren't you a prat to think I wouldn't catch you out,
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count.

I will survive, I will survive,
Cos as long as I have batteries,
My sex life is gonna thrive,
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex,
I will survive, I will survive. . .hey . hey

It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your little weiner standing tall and proud,
But to hell with all your ego's and to hell with all your needs,
Now I'm saving all my lovin for a cordless multispeed,

Go on now go,
Just make a dash,
Last time I saw a prick that small was watching Gladstone run nude hash,
I should have asked for confirmation,
Should have asked for referees,
Then I wouldn't have you waving that wee winky thing at me.

Go on now go,
Just hit the track,
Don't you bring me home no tiddlers,
Cos I'll always throw them back,
The only thing that I could do with a prick as small as yours,
Is to stick it with a tooth pick Dip it in tomato sauce.

Go on now go,
Get out of my sight,
I'm going back to my appliance,
Cos I know it's length is right,
And if I ever see your tiny tockley at my door,
You'll be counting up your inches as you pick them off the floor.
Go on now Go!

Sunday, October 03, 2004

He wanted to surprise me, and he did just that :)

Well chaps and chapesses after not seeing K for nearly a month he just decided to show up out of the blue about an hour ago..

What I had planned to do with him went straight out of the window as he just didnt give me any warning so we had a small chat, and a hug and got on with business!!!! I knew it would be fireworks, Must have come a dozen times, lost count after four or five.. I think lol

I knew we hadn't time to do any proper role play but while I was having foreplay with him (I tend to take the lead) we both bought the subjects up on what we'd been discussing and I got wet, well soaking, and he, well I'd have never seen a boner that hard before. You may all say yeah yeah, but I am able to turn men on without realising and when I know that I am doing it conciously, and see what a reaction I get well it just blows me away, this evening however was something completely new to me..

We tried rimming tonight and boy was that good! I hadn't really ever experienced it before so I know now at least he will be comfortable dealing with me in that way, I guess that was something that I wasnt sure that would be a situation where I'd have giggled or just gone with the flow.. The latter is how it turned out and it was so much better when I told him he had to do it. I told him he had to get on his knees behind me and start liking.. but that being an awkward position for him I decided that it be better him laying down and then me straddling his face with a soaking wet pussy and an eagerly waiting arsehole..

He lapped me up like a starving child with a course of his favourite ice cream. He then had a little shock when I introduced my finger into his arsehole, it got to the stage where he could have come... if only I had let him of course.. and then removed my finger to face him again. We kissed which I don't think he was expecting me to do after he had just fucked my arse with his tongue. The look on his facewas a picture of pure joy! I knew I had done him proud with my first bite into arseplay in this way.

I am now so looking forward to another slot in time that will allow us to explore much much deeper... will keep you all posted :)

I am off to bed now, as it is nearly two in the morning, he he only another five hours before my son would be draggin me out of bed to play with toy cars.. but hey I got a such huge great grin to go to bed with now so who's complaining?? I am certainly not :)

Saturday, October 02, 2004

A good night out i think.

I went out on the town last night, first time for a long time that I actually got dressd up, and boy did I dress up. I had my black leather trousers, black leather boots and cleavage enhancing top. I had the air of confidence last night, but I wanted to see how it would be with the men as what usually happens is that us girls go out, get a few drinks inside us and get a good snog, maybe even a grope. blahdy blahdy blah..

I know I can behave myself in situations if needed, But last night I kinda tested the whole dominance thing, see how many men I could inadvertantly get interested in me then leave them in a bit of a fluster.. all completely safe but it kinda worked, I am trying to get into practice for when I start using my feminine charms on K. They need to know how far I will take things not how far they'd like to go eh? It is to do with my being pleasured way before they can be..

I felt so powerful and full of confidence that I felt I could take on anything.. it was cool. I got a lot of interest, but I think when a man sees a woman who has confidence about her that is an attractive quality.. I have told K that I will research as best I can but it still needs to be something that we work out together and I do understand that. All the possible scenarios, all the different ways of taking control, I have so many ideas and so many things I want to try out..

It has now been three and a half weeks since K and I spent time together and the next time we do get to be together I want to be able to do something to surprise him, you see I am a very nice person by day and if you were to see me butter wouldn't melt, I have shocked so many people by letting them know what I am like. I don't hide the fact that I love sex and anything to do with it but then I don't go broadcasting it to the public either, if they ask I tell, that is how I am.

Just anwering the door to him could be exciting as he wouldn't know that I would only be wearing my black underwear.. busty bra, suspenders and stocking, maybe knickers, maybe not.. and leading him to where I want to play with him, it may be that he is shy when we do get to it, but boy will he be turned on too.. He will be putty in my hands mwahahaha :)